I Have Learned So Much From My Mother
As I sat watching tv with my mother in our sunroom, I was quietly thinking about the things that I have learned from my mother. I always thought that I was a patient person, but since I have been living with her for the last almost eight years, that patience is really a virtue. I think that the good lord must have been preparing me for my duties at home for quite awhile, and I take every lesson that I learn as a blessing.
As she gets older, she wants to argue, I have mentioned before that I do not argue, I walk away. Now I either walk away or just nod my head and not say anything. This stops her argument really quick, since she is not getting any resistance. It almost ruins her fun.
I have learned that if something goes wrong at the house, it is always my fault. I just say that I am sorry and go on. It is not worth me getting upset or stressing or saying something that might hurt her feelings. I am here to help, not try and hinder.
I have learned to take the roll of two people at our house, the one that takes the responsibility for all important issues and major decisions. And the roll of the daughter, that is the roll that is always in my mothers mind. She will try and run my life if I let her, with no mercy. If I even consider going out with a friend, she will try to sabatoge it on purpose. This could be sudden chest pain, trouble breathing, she heard the dogs barking at something the night before and didn’t know what it was. She does not like to be by herself. I found this out by changing my plans on several occasions and staying home and later realizing that she was just fine. She can be a very good actress.
I may manage to have my own time to myself about two times a month if that many. I tend to forget that I have a life too, because I am always taking care of her needs & wants along with all the needs of the house. I do have other family members that I could call on to relieve me, if I am desperate for a break, but that is only if they feel they have the time for her, or can deal with her wants, needs or attitude, or if she will let them.
I have tried to not let her be so dependant on me, but when she is confused or agitated or not feeling well, this is not a good mixture. She will be nice to other people, but it will be taken out on me later. I really don’t think that she realizes what she is doing at the time. And yes I get my feelings hurt, but she doesn’t know it.
I have decided that I will never let my children take care of me. If I ever get to the point that I need care, I will move myself into a someplace that I can come and go as I please. I will be happy as long as I have people around me to talk to or do things with. I am a people person.
The main difference between myself and my mother she is, she is not a people person and has no desire to become one. Her extent of interacting with people, is people watching.
She still has days where she is very funny and can say the funniest things, and these are the days that I choose to keep formost in my thoughts. I have learned that aging can be done two ways. One way is to not do it with very much grace and resent it. The other way, which I will choose, is to laugh & smile and age as gracefully as possible.
Remember to smile it may not change anything, but it sure makes you feel a whole lot better.
Jan Giza