What would you do?
What would you do if you were in your golden years and had a family member living with you helping you to get by on a daily basis with your day to day routines and another family member ask you how much money you have in the bank or if they can have a copy of your last will & testament.
Would you be offended? What thoughts would go through your mind? As you know I live and help take care of my mother on a daily basis and have since Sept. 6, 2003. That is 6 1/2 years of my life that has been given to my mother.
In that time we have gone through multiple health crisis and some major remodeling to my mothers home. Remodeling old bathrooms that had water leaking in the floors and walls for years, adding a sunroom that she always wanted to give more light and room to the house, a privacy fence so she had privacy in her backyard from the new neighborhood that was built behind her house, a new CH&A unit, a new hot water heater, backup generator etc. Mostly updates to her house to make it more condusive for her daily living. I have taken her on trips to see things that she had wanted to see before, but never been able to, due to sickness or finances.
I have always tried to give her whatever she needed when she mentioned it so she never had to want for anything. I put all the work that had to be done on my own shoulders and handled all the details and muscle that was needed.
Recently she has mentioned to me that another sybling has been inquiring how much money she has in her banking account and asking for a copy of her Last Will & Testament. This upset her termendously as it would me. That is very private information, and as far as I am concerned nobody elses business. How would you like to be asked the same thing! Our important papers are locked up at well as copies are at our attorneys office.
I am sorry but this does not sit well with me, if my own children had asked me for the same information, I would have said it was none of their business and they would find out when I was gone. Life is for the living, and if you can afford to do something that you would really like to do, then do it. You can’t take it with you so why not enjoy what life you have left. After all it is your money and was left for you.
Who knows how long you will be on this earth, enjoy what you can when you can. It really doesn’t matter what other people think. If they are not walking in your shoes, they really don’t know what it is like.
I love to laugh and do things all the time to try and keep my mother laughing. She is not getting younger, and does feel all the aches and pains as we age which really don’t do much for her desposition, so let her be and if she ask you do something for her, just do it. If she ask your advice, give it but remember you are not walking in her shoes so think it through before you answer.
If you really want to make her feel loved and appreciated without a price in your head. Then ask her if there is anything that she needs, call and invite her out for dinner without an catches. Spend more than an hour with her at a time and don’t criticise her or me for what ever reason you may come up with. Be happy with your life as she is trying to be happy with hers and mine. Find something to make you laugh and stop and smell the roses on a daily basis you will find life will be so much more rewarding. Smile at somebody who looks like their having a bad day, it just might bring a smile back to you on their face. You do get less wrinkles when you smile ( I read that in a book somewhere).
Jan Giza